ATTACK OF THE BIG CRAZY BIRD

So....I am getting out of my car the other night, and I hear this weird noise. It kinda sounded like a big bird with a cold going, "YACK! YACK!" My first thought was, "That's the freakin bird that always drops a bucket load on my car every night! (And I think you know what's in the bucket, right?)

Anyway, I'm looking up in the tree, but it's too dark to really see anything. And besides, he's quit his "YACKING", since he knows I'm looking for him. So, as I turn to walk inside I yelled back at him, "I'm gonna shoot your butt outta that tree next time I see you, you crazy bird!" (I might have added an extra word or two in there also).

Well, I walk into the garage and open the door to the steps leading up to the room where I sleep. Now you have to get this picture in your mind. I close the door behind me, and start up the stairs. I don't need to turn on the light because I have been up and down those stairs tons of times in the last months, and know every step well. Anyway, so its pitch black and I'm lugging my briefcase and my computer case on each shoulder, when all of a sudden I hear directly behind me (in the pitch dark remember!).."YACK! YACK!" And you can imagine, in a small enclosed stairwell, that noise scared the...well it scared me! It sounded like that bird was right next to me, and I was sure that he was like "freak of nature" HUGE!

Well, not only did I wet myself, but I tried running up those carpeted stairs, and of course missed the very first one, which sent me sprawling forward on my face! Computer went one way, briefcase went another way, and I'm crawling on my now bruised hands and knees up the stairs as fast as I can go. Oh, and my face is on fire from "rug burn!" And I know I acted like a little sissy...but I was scared this crazy bird was going to peck my eyes out!

Finally, I made it to the top of the stairs and down the hall to my room, and I'm wondering where is this bird? I have my door closed, of course. But I'm thinking, "OK, how do I tell the precious people I'm living with, that I pissed off a crazy bird and he's stalked me into THEIR house!" Sheesh!

Well, I thought I would just call downstairs and tell them to lock themselves in their bedroom and call an exterminator. I'm thinking this thing is probably diseased and poisonous too! So I pull my new iphone out of my pocket to call them, when all of a sudden my phone begins to ring. What a time for a call, right? Guess what? It's at that moment that I remember that I set the ringer (on my new iphone) to the "QUACK! QUACK!" ringtone! OMG...THE CRAZY BIRD WAS REALLY A CRAZY RINGTONE! I was running from an iphone in my pocket!

I fell in the floor I was so relieved... and I wet myself again! (O K, O K, I'm kidding about the whole wetting myself thing), but I just want you to get the full range of my emotions, alright?

Now, I'm not sure about the lessons I am supposed to learn from all this, but I can tell you I'm not quite as cocky today as I was yesterday! And, I am reminded that sometimes God allows some things in my life to teach me to quit "fearing" and start "faithing!" So, I'm working on it, and I would appreciate your prayers. But... Im still going to shoot that crazy bird someday!!